But I Love Animals!

26 02 2011

A very nice couple own a convenient store in one corner of my  apartment building. The old man smiles while using his hands to call out the total of my purchase, kind of how we speak to retarded people, when really they just didn’t hear you the first time you said something. But he’s sweet. The woman, periodically chirps away to me in Korean. I have no idea what she is talking about, but again, it’s done with warmth and I feel content just being a part of the one way conversation. By all accounts my interactions with this couple have always been enjoyable. Which is why when I saw they had brought their small dog to work, I felt both compelled and slightly obligated to say hello to the miniature…whatever it was, wearing a  yellow sweater and matching booties. For all I knew, the dog could have very well been the manager; I have learned to not be surprised by things in Korea. Leaving the store with my Coke and chewing gum, I raised my hand and waved at the pooch, “Hi, little guy… WHOA!” The ten pound beast started to bark and snarl, revealing its ferocious K-9 weapons. I started to laugh. I had never in my life met an animal that didn’t like me. But the laughing made it worse, and the dog, now in the woman’s arms, was vigorously pushing against her chest to get free, calculating a strike for my jugular. The laughter at this point was now shielding my embarrassment. Not only was I seconds away from becoming puppy chow, the entire store was looking at satins minion, foaming at the mouth. “But I love animals!” The woman looked at me like I had disgraced the peaceful corner of her store. “I’m…I’m sorry!” She just shook her head. I turned with my purchase and ran out the door crying.

It was only later that I realized the dog didn’t speak english.Of course! Further, I conducted a genealogical analysis on Wikipedia, concluding his great, great, great, great-grandfather had assisted in sniffing out IED’s for a rogue U.S. military unit during the Korean War. The American unit apparently had gone missing for almost 16 hours, and before resorting to cannibalism, they decided to eat their four-legged companion. I was really glad to learn all of this. There is another convenient store, exactly like the one the old couple own on the opposite corner of my apartment building. But I really like going to this one. The dog is clearly racist, but I feel like we have an understanding now. I would rather him hate me because I am white, and not because I am a horrible person. Everyone knows that animals generally react to people based on their moral fiber. And like I said, I had never met an animal that didn’t like me.





6 responses

26 02 2011

hahahaha damn you little dogs!!! i’ve seen such things before, i’m glad you decided to not take it personally. little dogs love to make white girls run away in tears, dont let them win.

this is hilarious whitney, written with style and humility as always.

26 02 2011

hmm resembles one of those yappy little sorta dogs – you know the ones. I agree with Joe, not’t let that overgrown rat win – aggravate it whenever you can! very funny.

27 02 2011
Audrey Quirk

Hilarious! It sounds like those shop owners need a Korean version of the Dog Whisperer or their precious little pooch might eat a customer for lunch….

1 03 2011

Thank you so much for reading my stories everyone! I’m still experimenting with my style so I feel like it all reads really random right now. But that’s why I’m doing it: to get better. Thanks again!


1 03 2011

Whitney, another entertaining piece of work. You’ll win this guy over in no time! We are now foster parents to Kristina’s 3lb ball of fluff. English is not her native tongue either. We’re bot sure what it is, perhaps “Maltese”. She has not exhibited any prejudice toward white female, however she does have a “hate-on” for males. She has taken a likin’ to your Dad though. She charges toward him and nonchalantly squats and strategically releases droplets of enthusiasm on his shoes:). It’s so endearing, however costly in the shoe department :D. I’m hoping this love/hate relationship will be mended soon. In the meantime, barefoot is recommended.

21 03 2011

Honey it is time for you to come HOME. I thought of all te different dangers you might face and I clearly overlooked this one! I love your stories. Keep them coming.
I love you.

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