6,000 Miles

25 09 2010

When I stepped off the plane alone and more then six thousand miles away from home, everything seemed so quite. In my head I couldn’t hear anything: my alarm clock, the sound of traffic down Center City at five in the afternoon, my urging conscience telling me to go to the gym again. Everything familiar seemed suddenly gone. I was in a heightened state; each moment from foreign immigration down to baggage claim and through the gates of arrival. If not on purpose, clearly out of necessity, as everything from each second forward depended on my attention to detail; not missing the signs or persons I was scheduled to meet. Each minute that passed beyond my mental itinerary sped my heart rate faster until I was sure I had missed something, I had forgot something, I was not prepared.

If I come off a bit anxious, it’s because I am; though normally, I would never wish to appear so frantic by way of my own decisions. But in a condition such as this, how could it be important: to pretend. In a moment so far from home and everything familiar, it would be a lie. This trip wouldn’t be the same if I smiled through this heart aching experience to better appease those who love me and wish me well. It may hurt them to know that in this moment, during this first day here in some hotel, I have no recollection of why I ever thought this was a good idea. My phone doesn’t work, I don’t know the name of the street adjacent to the building, and two years of rudimentary college Spanish won’t do me any good in Korea. I wonder if anyone even speaks Spanish here? The point is, I want to be honest about what I feel here no matter how it reflects against  the girl people knew before I left home. As well as I believe I know myself here in this moment, I can’t shake the words my trainers in Seattle kept repeating: “When you get off that plane, you will never be the same person again.”

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2 responses

30 11 2010
Jered Lyons

I love Bloggers! It’s how I made the leap to come to Korea!!! I love your posts I had to start from the beginning! I have been reading for about 40min now! Keep posting on your time here Whitney!!!!

1 12 2010
whitneybutler

Thank you so much for reading. It is my goal while in Korea to better my writing and explore both Korean culture, as well as my own. Stay tuned. More to come. 🙂 I’ll be reading yours as well!

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